Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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