His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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