What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
