Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
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i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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