Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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