I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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