He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Your cock deserves a montage
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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