there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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