Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
