im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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