What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
