put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize