So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
