I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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