Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Someone signed my nipple.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
