In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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