ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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