I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
What drink are we having for lunch?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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