I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
