Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize