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party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
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