This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.