I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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