Please, let me fuck your mom
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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