I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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