Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
