I wanna bring you to show and tell
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
