Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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