I hate your face
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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