My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize