at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
