It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
