I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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