i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
