Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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