come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize