Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
