I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
