My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have fence marks all over my body
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
