I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
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I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
All the doctor said was why
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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