Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
