Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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