i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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