I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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