And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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