What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
home. puking in laundry basket.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
