ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
