her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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