I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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