We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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