Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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