We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she peed on how many people?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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