since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
