I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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