Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
