just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
