I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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