His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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