I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
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