what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
